Thursday, December 30, 2010

Oh I'm so bad at this.

I have been checking out all of my old blogs lately and here we are another post 4 months after the last one. It seems to be a running theme. Now that I have my Android phone I feel like I will post more, since the interwebs are in the palm of my hand all day every day.
I guess I've been re-reading these blogs and journals as my reflection on the last year. As I've been getting closer and closer to graduation I have felt a need to explore my past. My memory has never been super great, but every blog post brings the past rushing back to me as clear as day. Between the Xanga, Deviant Art, Gaia, and Live Journal, I have relived my high school days. I thought everything was so complicated then, but looking back I am missing the simplicity. *longing sigh* Most of my blogs ended during the dawn of my freshman year of college, some of which I probably will never remember completely because I stopped writing. My focuses changed completely. I even stopped drawing which had been my constant outlet since elementary school. But most painful of the things I let go by the wayside were the many friendships from those years: my girls at Loretto, my online friends from forums and IRC, and my childhood buddies whom I only see during holidays now.
Re-reading the blogs has made me realize what I missed most: my old self. She is not completely gone but the busy haze of my freshman year of college and my attempts to be "grown up" hid her away. I feel like I have less energy, and like I don't enjoy every moment of my life like I did then. Maybe this is "maturing" or getting older. But I don't like it.

So here is my New Year's Resolution for 2011:
I will re-kindle my self, and make the most out of every day. I will put time aside to write, draw, and read like I used to. I will keep in touch with my friends better than I have been these past four years and be a better friend to those I have around me all the time.
I think this will help me be much happier with my life.

So here's to 2011!

1 comment:

  1. Cheers to a new year and more memories, friend <3 I'm with you on the resolutions..I love you :)